Thursday, April 28, 2016

Do the best and leave the rest to God

This morning I have a lot on my mind but I am not sure of what to share.  I am very troubled lately. There are a number of things on my mind which occupy my dreams and keep me from sleeping well.  I know the best thing to do is to thank God for each and every worry and trouble.  When we thank God, even in misery, we are acknowledging that the solution for these problems are out of our control.  By Thanking God and letting go of any action on our part, we leave the resolution to a higher Being with much broader vision and resources to effect the problems.
I, with my finite and limited thoughts and wisdom, only guess at solutions I might like to see but cannot grasp the repercussions these actions might cause.
Let me try to give an example of what I am trying to articulate.
A neighbor is a hoarder and keeps a number of cats.  The number is currently unknown but it is most likely closer to 10 than 5.  The neighbor is ill but keeps up the exterior of her home.  She pays a gardener once a month to care for grass and flowers and she goes out every day when weather permits with her large white cat whom she calls snowball  Bent over lady and cat patrol the grounds and lady picks up twigs and leaves and plastic bags and cans thrown from the road while cat explores, sniffs the bushes and flowers and rolls in the grass.  Lady and cat have an empathy and rhythm which is a joy to behold.  Cat likes to sneak under bushes and parked cars to hide and lady chases calling until cat meanders out to wind around her legs and rub against her.  Now we know the lady has some serious health issues which need to be addressed and she does go to Dr's and takes their advice.  She is bent over and skinny with her clothes falling off her.  She mostly smells but does get cleaned up to go to Church every week and to her Dr visits.   She eats poorly, mostly frozen food from the Schwaan man that she nukes. She keeps in touch by phone with her brother back East and her niece and nephews and she worries about them constantly.  She sends money to her niece and is very generous with the Church.
All in all the lady in question lives her life close to her cats, nature and God, with a few of us neighbors, thrown in for good measure.  The problem is, and the lady recognizes it, is what to do when she can no longer care for herself.  Her main worry is her beloved cats and what will happen to them if she becomes too ill or dies.  She says she will drag herself into the driveway as she is dying and if we see her there: please go and take care of the cats.  She would surrender them to a no kill shelter but doesn't know of one which would take the cats.  Most of them came as kittens and only know the inside of the house.
So here is the quandary.  What to do?   Should I call the city health services to help the lady and damn her wishes and her kitties? Should I try to locate a no kill shelter to take the cats?  (at the last minute she might not give them up anyway),
A friend goes to her Church with her on occasion.  Should the friend talk privately with the minister to see if he wants to get involved?  Should we try to get her cell phone and call her brother, and try to get him involved?
So at this point I do nothing.  I thank God for letting me see the problem and tell him I will spring into action if he shows me the way, but I mind my own business.  I am happy that I can love and care enough to want to get involved, but really fear that the consequences of any action I would take without God's direction, and the lady's permission could be a disaster.
The lady could be put in a home with her money and independence taken away from her, the cats could be rounded up and put to sleep, and poor snowball (the alpha kitty) would be devastated without his friend.  The brother could come and take over and not listen to her wishes and she could die any way with grief and humiliation(they were estranged for 19 years after her parents died, over property and money)  It is only the past few years they have been in touch.
God's vision is so much better than mine that I must leave the action to him and accept the result.  It is not in my authority to intervene unasked in another independent person's life.  But it is so hard to surrender my actions

Monday, April 25, 2016

As promised.....

Just siting waiting for my muse..... it does occur to me that while I am most happy when writing it does take a lot of concentrated effort when so many things call for my attention.  Like making out my grocery list, preparing my oatmeal and almond milk for my evening meal of grule, petting the dog, going to the loo, getting more coffee, etc.  Anything to put off putting thoughts and words to digital format.
I lose a lot of time to FB as well as reading the newspaper, and watching the news at noon and 7:00.  I like Brooke Baldwin for lunch and Rachel Maddow for dinner.  For those who watch Fox only these gals are on CNN and MSNBC respectively.  I enjoy these women because they are compassionate, love music, have great insight and an amusing persona. With Rachael I also get historical background which helps me put things in context.
I know we are all supposed to get the same 24 hours every day, but for me they are not enough.   I must have an afternoon nap and I try to get 7-8 hours of sleep each night as they say it is healthier .  I am doing my best to stay as healthy as I can because I do not want the world to lose me too soon. If you have not noticed my style is tongue in cheek you have not checked me out in a photo lately.  That cheek extends out quite a bit most times.
Anyway, back to my time wasters.  I consider making lunch( our main meal of the day), a real pain.  I am sure if it were not for Srini I would exist on various breads and coffee.  I love french baguettes, croissants, bran muffins, you name it....if it is real bread I like to eat it.  On the other hand I eat mainly whole wheat bread because it is healthier and not as addicting.  I do buy good healthy bread though. I would rather skip eating rather than eating something I do not really love.  I have learned to drink my coffee black again and this makes me feel very virtuous.
So lunch is a definite time waster as are my hobbies like shopping for stuff I do not need and watching QVC and HSN.  These mostly to get me to sleep by turning my mind off.  I have other hobbies like reading 10-15 magazines a month, books, and of course my daily devotions.  I like to think I do prayer beads, scrap-booking, and photo organizing but these worthy tasks are mostly on the back burner 'cause I get too caught up with trivia.
An eclectic mind is a terrible thing to waste but waste it I do.. Oh and I also attempt to pray continuously but You can guess how successful that
If I am not going to waste any more of my day on these trivial thoughts I had better get busy.  I thought It might be nice for you to get to know me a bit before I put more of myself out there for the world to see.

Saturday, April 23, 2016

I am starting again......

I have decided there is no cure for it.  I have to keep writing.  I have to figure out how to get everything I have written on paper into my blog, and keep it for perpetuity.  Why?  Because the Lord must have given me this desire for some reason and I have been avoiding the reality of it for too long. I have always played around with the "gift" but never dared to take it seriously.  Now I don't have a heck of a lot of time left but I must do what I can.
I always thought writing for me would be the GREAT AMERICAN NOVEL, or a biography but I realize it just ain't going to happen that way.  I write in spurts and in short papers on any variety of topics. I guess this is the way it is supposed to be 'cause this is what I do, and enjoy doing.  I am too damned prolific on Facebook, where nobody really cares and I waste my time iso doing something useful with my thoughts.  I am neither original or profound in my thoughts or my writings. This is why I have always been afraid of putting my thoughts down.  All the greats have done it all before me and the crumbs I leave at the table after digesting their wonderful works leave me ashamed .  So be it. I am what I am and 72 years ain't agonna change it.  I deliberately use eclectic grammar and word usage so do not try to correct me.  No red ink, please.
I will try to always tell the truth about what I am feeling or thinking, but I will also try to be kind. Just do not get me angry.  It upsets my little dog and interrupts my thought train
The things I care about most are in random order after:


I care about family and other people,Truth, Justice and the American way, All living creatures, our beautiful little blue planet, friends near and far(both silver and gold), animals I have loved personally and whom I like to believe are waiting for me at the Rainbow Bridge.  I have no prejudice against any group of people or nationality, religion, color, sexual orientation, political party,etc. as long as they too accept others just as they are with no assumptions.  If, however, one rants and hates against others, guess what????I cannot help ranting and hating against them.
I try to tamp myself down and even ignore those whom I feel express hatred or disrespect but it is really one of my worst challenges. I am working on it because judge not lest you be judged, but of all things this is most likely the challenge I will carry to my death.
I am interested in physics and metaphysics, philosophy, science, fiction, mystery novels, coloring, beading, religions.  I am a bit of a political wonk and cannot tear myself away from current events. This is why I never turn on the TV before noon.  I rest after lunch so can waste the time then.
This is just about enough for now.
I will try to blog at least 2-3 times a week.  If you enjoy reading my blog please let me know through FB, an Email, or comment on Blogger.  I believe you have to have a G+ account to do this.