I been Thinkin !!!! Again... very dangerous

It is a rare but interesting thing to reflect on a specific point in my past and try to bring some clarity as to how it has influenced me today.
I remember the summer before I went to college my mother, my grandmother and I sat on the front porch in Punxsutawney Pa.  We had been talking about what things I would have to bring to the campus in Geneseo as I was to room with two other girls in the dormitory.  After a lively discussion filled with memories and jokes about what mama had taken to her dorm when she went to Elmira; my mother injected a serious question to my grandmother.  "What advice do you have for Claire when she gets to college and meets new friends and joins clubs and groups?"
My grandmother got very serious and reflective and her words of advice were completely unexpected to a teenager leaving home for the first time.  She did not off er advise about smoking, drinking, or sex with boys.  Instead she addressed a topic which has stayed with me up until now and that I remember so succinctly.  I will have to paraphrase but the driving and clear intent has remained etched in my mind.
My grandmother told me to be very careful of any groups I joined, political, moral or social because the ramifications of the beliefs held by the groups could have a negative impact years later.  It was 1961 and we were still dealing with the effects of the McCarthy era.

53a. McCarthyism

"Our job as Americans and as Republicans is to dislodge the traitors from every place where they've been sent to do their traitorous work." -Joseph McCarthy, speech before the Republican National Convention (1952)

"Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of the Communist party?"

In the 1950s, thousands of Americans who toiled in the government, served in the army, worked in the movie industry, or came from various walks of life had to answer that question before a congressional panel.

SENATOR JOSEPH MCCARTHY rose to national prominence by initiating a probe to ferret out communists holding prominent positions. During his investigations, safeguards promised by the Constitution were trampled.

Why were so many held in thrall to the Wisconsin lawmaker? Why was an environment that some likened to the SALEM WITCH TRIALS tolerated?

My grandmother was well aware of the lives which had been ruined by the relentless probing of the most innocent associations in Politics, the movie industry and even employment and social circles.  

She was stern as she told me to investigate carefully before joining any political group and even sororities and clubs like theater and music could be subject to misinterpretation.  

Her words and examples chilled me and I was subsequently very careful about what I joined.

Caution has followed me through the years.  I have always been outspoken among  friends and family but was careful of my words and actions.  I have never gone to or participated in a March, or Sit-in, or Political Rally.  I have never been active in a political party and have always been somewhat secretive about whom I voted for.  At work I had many political discussions but was careful to note I was being the "Devil's advocate" iso owning to my somewhat radical, liberal and even Progressive views.  It has only been in the context of human rights that I have stood up and spoken my piece.  Regardless of how fearful I have been in other areas, when it comes to my fellow human beings I know no fear.  I have tried always to recognize everyone's dignity and beliefs.  

I have always regretted being so cowardly in the paths my grandmother warned me about, but in my old age I have become much more open in expressing myself and my beliefs.  " 

1. — ‘A coward dies a thousand times before his death, but the valiant taste of death but once. ... ― William Shakespeare, Julius Caesar.

My concern is that we are again entering an age of insulation and isolation and that if we are not very careful idiots like McCarthy and other radicals could rise once more among us.

This is a political rant-beware of ANGER

I have been trying so hard to keep my political feelings off this blog as I know whatever I say will not change any minds which are made up and opposite to mine.  Last night and this morning creamed it for me, however, as I am truly angry and I do not care who knows it.
John Lewis is a pioneer in the Civil Rights movement and a true gentleman.  He was one of the "Big Six" in the Civil Rights Movement and was beaten to a pulp and got a fractured skull from state troopers for leading a peaceful march from Selma, Alabama. This came to be known as  "Bloody Sunday", and was directly responsible for the passage of the Civil Rights Act of 1965.  He was elected to the House of Representatives in 1987 and has served there ever since.  He is 76 years old.
He has always been one of my hero's and to hear the little guttersnipe President of the NRA, call him a terrorist, is beyond the pale.
John Lewis has always been a man who stood for and still stands for peace, but he will not back down or give up what he believes in.  His speech on the floor of the House of Representatives on June 15, 2016 was polite and firm and quietly made.  He then ended his speech by staging a peaceful sit-in on the floor of the House.  He vowed to remain there until some form of gun legislation was brought forward so all the legislators to vote on, and have their vote recorded.  He did not say the legislation had to pass; but only to be submitted for vote.
Paul Ryan then returned to the floor at about 10:00PM and called for a vote on a piece of Wall Street legislation, which Obama had vetoed, and  which subsequently failed, then he called it a day.  The morning of June 17, Paul Ryan dismissed the House early for their 4th of July holiday.
John Lewis has vowed to carry on struggle when Congress returns after the 4th.  I will quote some of his words below:  "We have turned deaf ears to the blood of the innocent & the concern of our nation. We will use nonviolence to fight gun violence & inaction".
9:18 AM - 22 Jun 2016
In truth I am so sick of the lack of any positive action in Congress, but what truly bothers me is the attempt to discredit honorable men and women simply to force an agenda..  People should take a peaceful stand for what they believe in.  All the name calling in the world will not and cannot besmirch the reputation of a man like John Lewis.  For those who do not know who he is and what he stands for I find myself attempting to set the record straight.
I am done for now

Why Move to Phoenix?

I have wondered every summer when the temps hover at 110" or hotter, why in the hell I ever moved to Phoenix.  It's complicated.  Where does one go when one knows they can no longer live in India...? Why to a place that is hotter of course.
That is not how it really happened but it sounded good for the moment.  When my husband and I realized we could no longer take the discomforts of living our dreams we had to find a place to move to.  There were some discomforts of Bangalore living we were just not willing to face, until they improved.  Like no power for four hours either AM or PM. The AM/PM alternated each month. Random problems with our bore well which supplied our house hold water.  Huge traffic congestion and few traffic lights.  Four way stops where everyone kept going in their own direction and no stopping.  Pollution everywhere in what used to be known as the garden city.  Industries galore and unimpeded growth,.  Good for the country but bad for gracious living.  In short, everything had changed since we had decided back in 1969 to move to Bangalore when we retired.  We absolutely still loved the country, the people, the food, our family, my husband's students, etc.  We simply could not face the discomforts for the rest of our lives.  Had we been either richer or poorer we might have stayed and dealt with the situation and been happy.  Being who we were, however, we decided to return to the States and seek a final home.
I came to Phoenix because like the bird I felt we could rise from the ashes and recreate ourselves. Instead we live every summer with the ashes floating over the valley from our magnificent forests burning,relentlessly with wildfires caused mostly by humans.
The pollution from the cars, industry, blowing dust, burning ash, combined with heat above 110" make leaving our homes in the four bad months of summer a terrible challenge.  For someone like me, with COPD, it becomes almost impossible. Half of May, June, July, August, and half of September, make for four home-bound months for me.  God forbid if the air conditioning goes out in either our house or our car.  This, thus far has not happened because we keep the conditioner and cars very well maintained.  We are on our third home air-conditioner since moving to this house.   We replace it at the first sign of trouble.  
My husband and I have made a life of cocooning during the summer months.  It is a time for indoor exercise, guitar playing, reading, cleaning house and a myriad of other activities which can be done after 10:30 AM until the next morning at 5:30.
We have adjusted to this Hell on earth during the summer months and stunning loveliness the remainder of the year.    Housing is affordable, taxes are low, the streets are wide and many are lined with graceful palm trees. In any direction we drive we can see mountains in the distance.  There are horse farms a few blocks away from where we live. The vegetation is wild and colorful and who can resist the "Sentinels of the Dessert", the Saguaro Cactus.  Almost any flower or vegetable can be grown during the winter months and the landscapes are filled with living color due to wildflowers in the spring.  People used to move to Arizona when they had asthma or allergies, but no longer.  There are many days with unacceptable air quality and the vegetation such as olive trees and others, are murder for allergies.
I am still not quite sure why we came here.  It is indeed a dry heat.  It will dry out your very blood if you let it.  The buzzards are always circling over the dessert but here in the Valley of the Sun, life can be livable if you are willing to adapt and embrace the life one has finally chosen.  For better or worse, until death do us part.

It's all about the bass?

When did this fascination about asses begin?   When I was a kid the only asses we talked about were jackasses. Guys don"t make passes at girls with big asses. Oh, for the good old days.  Now the Booty is the thing.  No one cares anymore about breasts or lips, or legs.  Every girl now wants a big bum and every guy seems to only notice the hind side of a woman
Where did it all begin?  I think the beginnings go back far into human history.  Consider the baboons and monkeys with bright red bottoms to make them sexually attractive to their mates.  Can humans do any less?
Beyonce', Rihanna, Jenny from the block, Lopez and the Kardashians,  all exemplify the big ass boom, but they didn't start it. Three of them were most likely born with the feminine pulchritude they carry but then enhanced what is natural more with tight and suggestive clothing. I have no idea where Kim got her booty but I am willing to bet it ain't natural
Everywhere we look we are finding dresses and skirts with stretchable fabric that cups the buttocks and makes women look like they have balloons tucked in their skirts or pants.  Gently rounded curves are replaced by caricatures of bulbous comic book women.  Girls are getting collegian injections and fat injections and padded underwear to try to fit into the craze.
It is so sad we cannot accept the way we are individually and wonderfully made, We need to be role models for young girls  and do the best we are able to keep our bodies fit and active.  We need to tell them unnaturally big butts can lead to sway back and other back issues that no one finds attractive.  We need to tell out young men, not to gawk and make fun of  women with excessive anything.  Consider the whole package of femininity, physical and mental and not to be so attracted to image as opposed to substance.
Girls will be girls and boys will be boys.  However as a society we should be more judicious of the trends we get caught up in.
If you think these are the opinions of an ancient ugly woman you would be right, but who cares.  I am what I is for all time.

Ever more dependent and resentful of it.....

This is a quickie for those who miss me.  I have been too sleepy in the mornings and have lacked energy to post.  I think everything is beginning to go south.  I cannot stand the hot weather so I have not gone outside for 5 days except for church on Sunday.  Srini drove me and picked me up then, because I cannot get into a hot car after it has been standing several hours,  Even when I have my oxygen on I feel I cannot breathe.  Too bad, so sad.  So many people have worse problems than I that I really should not complain.
I have found that the more you feel sorry for yourself the deeper you go into depression.  I try to be thankful for everything.  All the conditions and small problems I have in my life are an impetus for me to learn and grow and find what I am capable of; or not.
I  find it extremely difficult still to ask for help.  I feel that even my dearest one's resent it when I feel forced to ask for something.  I wish I could continue to do for myself with only God"s help.  I am afraid that becomes more and more impossible to go it completely alone.  I do occasionally ask someone other than Srini to pick me up or drop me off, but continue to feel my friends resent it inside. When I hear them talk about others who are now more dependent I really understand what an imposition it is to do for others.  Even the simple things.
I wish I could afford to have a personal assistant and a driver for hot weather but unfortunately cannot.  I only have energy before noon each day.  This is my window for accomplishment.  The rest of the time I can only read, watch TV or play on the computer.  I guess I am lucky I still have the mornings for activity but this is why it is hard for me to keep up the blog.  It is precious AM time when I should be taking advantage of my energy flow.
Oh woe is me. Is this a pity party or what?
I really am so thankful I can continue to do what I do .  I also know the Lord keeps me humble by making me ask others for help.  I have always been so, as my father would say about me, "so G' damn independent"
So with age comes dependence but also insight into character flaws.
Until next time, my friends, or not so friends, I bid you farewell.