Imagination

Imagined adulthood.
Gained adulthood.
Lost imagination.

This was posted on Facebook by a special friend and really amused me.  It did get me thinking though.
I truly believe that, except for the soul, imagination is the most important aspect of a human being.  Oh I know reason, creativity, consciousness, and all the additional parts of our beingness that we experience, are important. For me, however,  imagination holds the key to our highest states of consciousness and our very worst nightmares. Inspiration and fear both come from our active imagination.  I have no clue if other beings experience imagination.  An animal can be very intelligent and obviously is able to reason.  I know our little chihuahua, Angie, can play pretend cat. She will sniff under a bush or look under a car and then jump and run about as if she is chasing a kitty. We always get so amused when she does this because it is exactly how she will play with a real cat.  Both humans and animals participate in play which I feel is an acting out of imagination. ( I think this may be why athletes get better in the off season for their sport because they visualize the activity and are ready to begin acting it out when the season's training comes.)  I know as martial artists we were taught to visualize moves and situations in resting states so we would be prepared if the real situation were to arise.
 This is how I overcame my fear of going home alone by subway after the rush hour has ended in NYC.   I would visualize an attack  by one or more assailants and then practice my moves to evade or control the situation using either force or reason.  Oddly enough I never had to experience anything I had worked out before in my imagination; but my fear was replaced by calmness and control.  There were instances which could have become dangerous but I really believe my demeanor and lack of fear kept things from  being realized.  By the way I also believe that a Godly person also repels attacks that  might occur by nature of his or her sense of protection by God.  Mother Theresa went into the most horrific and dangerous situations with no fear and she was never attacked.
Every safety expert will tell us: to be aware of our circumstances, have one's keys ready in one's hand when going to the car in a parking lot, do not be testing or on the phone, if you feel any thing might be suspicious to go back into the store and get an employee to accompany you to the car, ete, ete, etc.
All this preparation can inspire fear rather than negate it.  What they neglect to tell you is one who is confident and self assured is rarely attacked.  Criminals look for nervous, or unaware victims.  Sometimes we are told not to look people in the eye and to keep our eyes down.  I have found that recognizing others as people and individuals can be a good tactic. Acknowledging others and nodding pleasantly shows you are confident, at ease, and able to deal with situations which might arise.  .
But back to imagination.  I think I could write a book about my imaginary experiences, both waking and sleeping.  This however would be for another time.  For now I simply want you all to begin thinking about imagination and how important it can be for human development.
John Lennon:

Imagine there's no Heaven
It's easy if you try
No Hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Livin' for today
Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Livin' life in peace
You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one

I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharin' all the world
You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one

Read more at http://www.songlyrics.com/john-lennon/imagine-lyrics/#0QkHZBtiG8ZxflXx.99(

Walk with Death

My walk this morning led to some rather deep thinking about life and death.  My husband has always said we are attached to this life by a thin narrow, invisible thread holding us from the top of our head.  At any moment or at any time this thread could snap and we would be here in this place no more.  From the time I can remember I have thought about death.
  As a child I never worried about my own death but was very concerned about the death of my mother.  I loved her so much and just did not feel I could ever go on without her.  In fact I used to pray in my evening prayers that God would let her live until I was at least thirty years old.  I thought by then I would be more grownup and better able to accept her death.  My prayer was not realized and she died of acute leukemia when I was only 21.  I was totally devastated.  I was in India for the first time and we were to stay for 3 weeks.  We had planned to go upstate to visit mama and daddy before we went to India but at the last minute before going changed our plan.  I felt it would stretch our finances too much so decided to wait until we came back.  In the middle of our third week in India I woke with a nightmare.  I told my husband I could never move to India to live because I could not leave my mother.  In my dream she was dying and I could not leave her.  The next morning we received a telegram that mama was extremely ill in Strom Memorial Hospital in Rochester N.Y.  We had no home phones in the house in Bangalore at that time so my family there hailed auto rickshaws.  The men of the family ( Srini, his dad, and his two brothers), and I, went to the Bangalore Telegraph and Telephone office.  It took forever but we were finally able to get connected to the Hospital.  I asked for the room of Margaret Pierce and was told she had died a few hours earlier.  I asked how she had died, and was told they could not give out that information over the phone; even if I was a daughter calling from abroad.  I then asked to have either my father or sister paged, which they did. They had already left the hospital. To make a long story short I could reach neither my father or sister at their homes.  Srini called Pan American World Airlines and arranged for us to leave Delhi the next day for NYC. He then called the local airline to book an evening flight. to Delhi.  We went back to the house, cried, packed, and left for the airport.  Srini's family were absolutely wonderful and his Mom and sisters cried with me as they helped me pack.
When we reached New Delhi, PanAm put us in first class for the flight home, which made 5 stops in 5 different countries.   I was sick with nausea and bathroom issues and crying jags so it was a blessing we were in first class near the bathroom.  When we finally landed in New York on Sunday morning I called my father and learned the funeral for Mama was the next day.  Srini booked a flight for us to Massena N.Y. for the first flight Monday morning.  My Father and Uncle Jerry picked us up at the airport there and drove directly to the funeral in Potsdam.
I subsequently learned Mama developed a very sore throat three days after we left for India.  a blood test showed her white blood cells were extremely high.  They rushed her by ambulance to Strom Memorial and she died there a week later.  As near as we could calculate with the time difference, it was at the time of my nightmare.  
 From this earth shattering experience, for me, I learned  all the praying in the world could not stop or delay death  The thread could break at any moment, and our happiest moments could become part of our worst nightmares.  The difference between life and death is a moment in time and we have to try and make the best of that moment.  I also learned you can live beyond the death of a beloved.  I grieved very hard for at least six months.  I cried, had nightmares, gained weight, quit the job I had, let myself go........all the worst things people do when they grieve.  Srini tells me he hardly recognized me during this time.  All my joy was gone.  Eventually I came back but I never tried to hold as tightly to anyone again.  I knew they could and indeed might leave, so I tried to prepare myself to let them go.  Mama always said " if you really love someone, you love them enough to let them go".
 I have lost many people I loved since that time in my life and it never is easy.  What I have tried to do, especially now that I am older, is enjoy even more the moments I have with those I love.  I try to forgive their and my own idiosyncrasies, and honor and love who they really are.  I really do try to enjoy each day for what it holds and do not have a very long bucket list.  I have done and do what I most enjoy each day and if this makes me a little lazy then damn the torpedos which might be thrown against me.

New York City, there I went.........

I think I need to talk about my first experiences in New York City at 18 years old.
I had flunked out of Geneseo State College(that is what it was called back in the day)  My mother was heartbroken, but I really don't remember what my father said.  It was he who had insisted that his daughter had to go to college.  We were all unsure of what the next step would be.  Mama thought I should take some courses at the community college.  I wanted to go to NYC and get a job.  That is what I had wanted in the first place but my Dad wouldn't hear of it because I was accepted with a small scholarship at Geneseo.
 Fortuitously, my best friend Christa had come to Potsdam in June to move her Mom to her apartment in Queens NY.  Christa had gone to travel school in Chicago but then went to NYC and got a job as a receptionist. She was waiting to get called for an interview to be a stewardess.
So Christa was moving her Mom to Queens with her mom's old car with a uhaul attached.  Christa did not drive but I had driven her mom's car many times our Junior and senior years in high school.  They invited me to go along to help drive and stay with them a few weeks in to help settle her mom.  I, of course, lept at the chance, and since I couldn't do much else until fall, my father said I could go.  Mama wept a little because she knew what I really wanted. I think my father felt I would come crawling home after being defeated by the big city.  He had been a runner on Wall Street at about my age and he hightailed it back to work in a sawmill in Conifer, NY.
 I will never forget the drive from the Hudson Bridge to NYC.  We drove down the Hutchinson River Parkway  and from about 10 miles away we could see the city lights.  It was a truly magical night. My heart was in my throat the whole way and I just could not believe what I was seeing.  I knew then that truly this was my destiny and the place I was meant to be.  Coming to "Gotham" on an enchanted evening like that fulfilled, but also began, the epitome of all my childhood dreams.   This one evening, and a second at Delhi Airport, when I first set foot in India, remain in my memory as fresh as on the days they occurred.  Nothing could have prepared me for the sights I saw or the emotions I felt on these two occasions.
 I stayed with Christa for two weeks while I looked for a job and a place to stay.  I found a job almost immediately as an office trainee at the American Institute of CPA'S.  I had gotten the job through an employment agency and I had to pay them out of my first salaries for the next three months. I was paid in cash week.  I remember the small brown envelope containing exactly $63.00.  The next step was to find a place to stay.  Christa had stayed at the Webster Hotel for Women between 9th and 10th Ave on 32nd Street.( see "a new beginning 1962"folder on Claire's Pinterest pages.)  She took me there and they accepted me and agreed to keeping a $50.00 deposit, until my first paychecks came through.  I had been sent off to NYC by my parents with $100.00 and it was the last money I ever accepted from them.
 So I called my parents and told them I had a job and a rented room and that my future from then on was in NYC.  They wished me well and said to call home right away if I needed anything or got into any kind of trouble. My mother's philosophy was "if you love truly love someone,  you love them enough to let them go." I believe this is what kept my parents together until she died.
More of my early NYC experiences will come on another day.
Farewell for now.