My Goodness, it sure has been a long time. I got ill beginning January 2018. It has taken a long time to recover to the extent that I feel I might live a few years longer. Of course there are no guarantees but given the choice of letting myself and my thoughts die to the world; and going on to share my thoughts and feelings for whatever time is left, I choose to move forward. I have from time to time posted my thoughts on Facebook, in short little pieces but that is not really what I am about. I never expected to live to see 2020. Now only the creator knows how must time I still have left. As my most favorite home philosopher said this morning " Everyone, and everything, is given a certain number of moments in time to exist, within Eternity. No one knows how long that will be or can change the result." All one can really do is be unafraid in each moment and face each challange as it comes and hope one can live up to their own expectations. Fear is our only true liability.
So I go forward with this blog for however long the urge moves me. With the hope my thoughts and experiences can prove useful, entertaining, moving, inspiring, or even worthy of mirth from my followers.
I will send the occasional reminder on FB or through e-mail that I have again posted in the blog as I may not everyday. I have many plans for the coming year but still I do not have the strength I would like to accomplish all of them. Now that I can read books again(in large print or on Kindle I intend to read at least a few books a week. I have rediscovered the wonders of Amazon Prime video and Netflix and I have to contain myself when I begin to binge watch a series, I have purchased an armchair workout video (standing and holding onto chair) that I need to use at least 3 times a week. In addition it is necessary that I eat meals and entertain my husband and my little dog. Or be entertained by them, whichever comes first. Then I do have my friends, Doctor appointments, the necessity of keeping up with Facebook and politics and a hundred other small time eaters in each day. Even drinking the required amount of water and taking medicines eats into my available time.
Oh Lordy, I don't think I can handle all this. We will just have to see what happens. I know a shut-ins life cannot even to begin to compare to those of you still in the workplace or living your retirement dreams. How we humans begin to accomplish all that we do in our few allotted moments is of continuing amazement, or is that amusement, for the Gods.
Well I shall end this for today but I hope I have given some of you something to look forward to.
Showing posts with label or phychobabble.. Show all posts
Showing posts with label or phychobabble.. Show all posts
Thursday, January 2, 2020
Monday, February 20, 2017
Pre-apocalyptic World ?
I am tired of the pre-apocalyptic messages we keep getting from all sides. ( The Christian right and ultra right extremists are happy.) I think, they think, Trump and his minions were chosen by God to bring about the end of the world. If Trump kicks out and breaks up immigrant families who have made the US their home for many years, and if he ends our trade agreements, this will be a step towards massive economic chaos. If he ends our environmental protection regulations and regulatory laws our whole country will decline. If he succeeds in silencing our free press we will never find out about the collisions and atrocities which are being committed. If our Education system becomes private Lord only knows what will be taught. It could be like the Muslim extremist schools where children are indoctrinated with hatred to others, repeating and memorizing endless passages of the Koran. If he turns off our European allies and gets into secret agreements with Russia he could bring our alliances abroad to an end. If racist advisers gets their way Jews, Muslims, Blacks, racist whites, Hispanics and Asians will be pitted against one another and all our social services and social institutions will breakdown and divide against each other. Groups will be forced to grasp for private funds to help their own particular interests and forget about working together for the common good. Terrorists will reek havoc against our divided fronts. Brother against brother, neighbor against neighbor, city against city, state against state, country against country. Internal and external war of all against all, each trying to protect their own interests.
Oh, I could go on and on listing scenarios for division and duplicity which could be brought about by Trump and both his conscious and his unconscious allies, but I am tired of thinking about all this. Day after day the news gets worse in a never ending cycle of division and mayhem. Like the Allstate commercials on Mayhem we seem unprepared to fight these things in a cohesive way. We are being attacked on too many fronts and people are picking and choosing their battles and causes. More and more fracturing of our American ideals broken into special interest groups.
I know Evils way is to divide us against one another and cause massive self interest and civil destruction. The ending of the world as we know it. The Evil one has plenty to work with. Start a small fire here and there and soon the whole forest is ablaze. How long will it take? Can men and women of good will towards each other stop it. From the apocalyptic view, at the end Jesus comes to the rescue and divides the saved from the heathen and all is well.
In real life, here on earth, no one wins. The beautiful animal and plant world will be destroyed as well as both good and evil peoples. Our fragile little planet will go on but it will be thousands or even millions of years before the toxic elements will be absorbed and new creatures perhaps unlike any we have ever known will begin to form from the deb re. Will it be a better or worse planet, no one knows? The kingdom of heaven is not here on our little planet. It is deep within each of us if we search for and find it. In the meantime Evil and Good forces swirl outside of us and it is up to each of us to decide which we choose to embrace. Our exterior world reveals our own internal battles. Like a body with cancer on the inside is more and more eaten up with disease, our external body reveals the destruction by a pale, rotting exterior often with emotions to match. Revelations happen within each of us. The ancient Bible story is true only for each individual as his soul and heart are examined It is our private battle to be redeemed or not. We should not try to project this battle outside of ourselves to innocent bystanders: human, animal or plant.
A beautiful, harmonious earth can work for all of us. Let us each search our self and come to terms with our own internal heaven and hell. Leave the planet alone from our private religious battles and let the rule of order, law, nature, beauty, truth and justice prevail, however far from the ideals they might wander.
Oh, I could go on and on listing scenarios for division and duplicity which could be brought about by Trump and both his conscious and his unconscious allies, but I am tired of thinking about all this. Day after day the news gets worse in a never ending cycle of division and mayhem. Like the Allstate commercials on Mayhem we seem unprepared to fight these things in a cohesive way. We are being attacked on too many fronts and people are picking and choosing their battles and causes. More and more fracturing of our American ideals broken into special interest groups.
I know Evils way is to divide us against one another and cause massive self interest and civil destruction. The ending of the world as we know it. The Evil one has plenty to work with. Start a small fire here and there and soon the whole forest is ablaze. How long will it take? Can men and women of good will towards each other stop it. From the apocalyptic view, at the end Jesus comes to the rescue and divides the saved from the heathen and all is well.
In real life, here on earth, no one wins. The beautiful animal and plant world will be destroyed as well as both good and evil peoples. Our fragile little planet will go on but it will be thousands or even millions of years before the toxic elements will be absorbed and new creatures perhaps unlike any we have ever known will begin to form from the deb re. Will it be a better or worse planet, no one knows? The kingdom of heaven is not here on our little planet. It is deep within each of us if we search for and find it. In the meantime Evil and Good forces swirl outside of us and it is up to each of us to decide which we choose to embrace. Our exterior world reveals our own internal battles. Like a body with cancer on the inside is more and more eaten up with disease, our external body reveals the destruction by a pale, rotting exterior often with emotions to match. Revelations happen within each of us. The ancient Bible story is true only for each individual as his soul and heart are examined It is our private battle to be redeemed or not. We should not try to project this battle outside of ourselves to innocent bystanders: human, animal or plant.
A beautiful, harmonious earth can work for all of us. Let us each search our self and come to terms with our own internal heaven and hell. Leave the planet alone from our private religious battles and let the rule of order, law, nature, beauty, truth and justice prevail, however far from the ideals they might wander.
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Cain and Abel, and maybe Sally, today
We all know that in the Bible, when Cain slew Able it was the first murder and the first we know of a life threatening dispute between brothers. This apparently started the series of all the sibling disputes which have followed.
My question is as follows: WHY?
I know of two situations intimately, where two sets of brothers who once loved each other, fought for each other and seriously planned their lives around one another, have become sworn enemies and are totally incapable of even talking to one another. WHY?
Oh, I know the circumstances of each situation and there all sorts of incidents which led to the breaking point of each relationship, but what I cannot understand is WHY?
It is always somewhat understandable when siblings with large age or character differences just cannot get along and avoid each other. Sometimes they do not see each other for many years and there is little or no communication, but they do not hate each other. They just do not like each other too much and there isn't a lot of love lost between them.
In the situation, however, when the brothers or sisters have been very close I can only ask WHY?
What is it which comes between the two to cause such anger and separation? From my observations it seems to be two things. Control and money. In both cases the final split came after the death of the Father, who was loved and respected. The mother was left a widow and the younger brother assumed a position of control he had previously been denied when the father was alive. For differing reasons the younger brother was asked to assume some help and assistance with the estate which remained for the widow. During the remaining years of each mother's life the tensions built between the elder and second brothers. The third brothers, in both cases, took sides with the elder brother. When the widows finally passed there were open fights with words and insults and the 2 sets of brothers have been unable to get along since. If they are to meet there are harsh words and further alienation. I believe these matters can never be resolved as neither set of brothers wants them to be. The money and inheritance problems have never been completely resolved and lawyers have been consulted in both cases.
I have been thinking and thinking and several possibilities come to me. In both cases the younger of the two brothers had health problems which most likely led to them being somewhat spoiled, but nonetheless neither felt he had been given enough love from the parents. The elder brother in both cases was strong and competent and the apple of their mother's eyes. I am sure for many years resentments smoldered in the younger brother's hearts but they both made it seem like they loved and admired their older brother. They used to trail after their older brother when they were young and tried to get their attention. Once the parents were gone their true feelings were given an outlet and what had smoldered, burst into flame.
The families of both sets of brothers have been devastated by the fractures and keep trying to handle what went wrong.
I do not know if my thinking makes any sense to anyone but me. I would seriously make sure that if I had more than one child my will would be in place down to every last detail before either me or my husband became incapacitated. Siblings and relatives will fight over animals, possessions, jewelry, money, the family Bible, you name it. Whatever is left can be a fight if resentments have been buried over time. My two close encounters involve men, but it is the same for sisters, or brother and sister. Beware the murderer in your midst. He or she would slew their sibling if given the chance.
My question is as follows: WHY?
I know of two situations intimately, where two sets of brothers who once loved each other, fought for each other and seriously planned their lives around one another, have become sworn enemies and are totally incapable of even talking to one another. WHY?
Oh, I know the circumstances of each situation and there all sorts of incidents which led to the breaking point of each relationship, but what I cannot understand is WHY?
It is always somewhat understandable when siblings with large age or character differences just cannot get along and avoid each other. Sometimes they do not see each other for many years and there is little or no communication, but they do not hate each other. They just do not like each other too much and there isn't a lot of love lost between them.
In the situation, however, when the brothers or sisters have been very close I can only ask WHY?
What is it which comes between the two to cause such anger and separation? From my observations it seems to be two things. Control and money. In both cases the final split came after the death of the Father, who was loved and respected. The mother was left a widow and the younger brother assumed a position of control he had previously been denied when the father was alive. For differing reasons the younger brother was asked to assume some help and assistance with the estate which remained for the widow. During the remaining years of each mother's life the tensions built between the elder and second brothers. The third brothers, in both cases, took sides with the elder brother. When the widows finally passed there were open fights with words and insults and the 2 sets of brothers have been unable to get along since. If they are to meet there are harsh words and further alienation. I believe these matters can never be resolved as neither set of brothers wants them to be. The money and inheritance problems have never been completely resolved and lawyers have been consulted in both cases.
I have been thinking and thinking and several possibilities come to me. In both cases the younger of the two brothers had health problems which most likely led to them being somewhat spoiled, but nonetheless neither felt he had been given enough love from the parents. The elder brother in both cases was strong and competent and the apple of their mother's eyes. I am sure for many years resentments smoldered in the younger brother's hearts but they both made it seem like they loved and admired their older brother. They used to trail after their older brother when they were young and tried to get their attention. Once the parents were gone their true feelings were given an outlet and what had smoldered, burst into flame.
The families of both sets of brothers have been devastated by the fractures and keep trying to handle what went wrong.
I do not know if my thinking makes any sense to anyone but me. I would seriously make sure that if I had more than one child my will would be in place down to every last detail before either me or my husband became incapacitated. Siblings and relatives will fight over animals, possessions, jewelry, money, the family Bible, you name it. Whatever is left can be a fight if resentments have been buried over time. My two close encounters involve men, but it is the same for sisters, or brother and sister. Beware the murderer in your midst. He or she would slew their sibling if given the chance.
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Right Now I Am O.K.
It has been a while but I have been very busy doing my usual daily little dumb things. I read "Super Brain" and I really enjoyed it. The main thing I really got; I had once before, but forgot it.(it is an interesting thought, got/forgot) It is a very important concept that I forgot.. It is that Right Now I am O.K. This means all the normal or abnormal things I worry about are in the future: and the stuff I fret about or feel inadequate about or which makes me sad, are all in the past. Right now, this very minute I am O.K.
I don't seem to realize or maybe I just don't get that I make my own heavens or hells or purgatories. When I leave the current moment is when all of the problems begin. It is however very hard to stay in the current moment. Our hopes and fears keep coming up and we keep slipping backward or forward in time. If time is a man made concept and everything only happens as it happens, not before or after, then it is easier to stay focused in the now.
It is interesting to read stories about people with amnesia who apparently forget who they are, and remember nothing from the past. It seems to be sort of like Alzheimer's only the self is lost all at once and can come back. All of these people should have it easy living in the moment but it seems the moment is really unavailable to them too. They appear to be worried about their confused little moment. There appears to be only confusion or angst, in their moments. The moment is wasted in worrying about what they should but do not remember or what they are missing by being unable to imagine a future.
They seem to live in the lost land of existing /not existing, never ever land.
Meditation promises to take us into the moment but I have never succeeded in losing my mind. Instead I lament and wonder why I cannot escape my thoughts, If you are worried about it you are not meditating. You are supposed to gently draw yourself back to your mantra, instead I jerk myself around and try to force myself back. I would much rather be consciously aware of what is happening now in the current moment. The sounds I hear, the colors I see, the softness of my pet's fur that I feel. Even the pain. I try to go into the pain rather than escape it, remembering right now I am O.K. and if I can get out of my thoughts and fears and just tune into my senses I can continue on and live in the moment.
Too often there are the moments of beauty and peace and Godliness and then we are jerked back to our hates and fears and belief systems. How can we come from meditation, church, a symphony, and experience of beauty, God, or realization, and be the same old stinky, corrupt and unforgiving persons we were before? The over the top experiences do not seem to change us.
This is why Priests and Pastors are forgiven for their transgressions and redemption is possible. It appears to be part of the human condition. As humans we visit the heights and descend to the depths
and carry only vague impressions of each state to the other. Whatever the conditions of either state. If I can only stay in the now I am O.K.
I don't seem to realize or maybe I just don't get that I make my own heavens or hells or purgatories. When I leave the current moment is when all of the problems begin. It is however very hard to stay in the current moment. Our hopes and fears keep coming up and we keep slipping backward or forward in time. If time is a man made concept and everything only happens as it happens, not before or after, then it is easier to stay focused in the now.
It is interesting to read stories about people with amnesia who apparently forget who they are, and remember nothing from the past. It seems to be sort of like Alzheimer's only the self is lost all at once and can come back. All of these people should have it easy living in the moment but it seems the moment is really unavailable to them too. They appear to be worried about their confused little moment. There appears to be only confusion or angst, in their moments. The moment is wasted in worrying about what they should but do not remember or what they are missing by being unable to imagine a future.
They seem to live in the lost land of existing /not existing, never ever land.
Meditation promises to take us into the moment but I have never succeeded in losing my mind. Instead I lament and wonder why I cannot escape my thoughts, If you are worried about it you are not meditating. You are supposed to gently draw yourself back to your mantra, instead I jerk myself around and try to force myself back. I would much rather be consciously aware of what is happening now in the current moment. The sounds I hear, the colors I see, the softness of my pet's fur that I feel. Even the pain. I try to go into the pain rather than escape it, remembering right now I am O.K. and if I can get out of my thoughts and fears and just tune into my senses I can continue on and live in the moment.
Too often there are the moments of beauty and peace and Godliness and then we are jerked back to our hates and fears and belief systems. How can we come from meditation, church, a symphony, and experience of beauty, God, or realization, and be the same old stinky, corrupt and unforgiving persons we were before? The over the top experiences do not seem to change us.
This is why Priests and Pastors are forgiven for their transgressions and redemption is possible. It appears to be part of the human condition. As humans we visit the heights and descend to the depths
and carry only vague impressions of each state to the other. Whatever the conditions of either state. If I can only stay in the now I am O.K.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)