This morning I have a lot on my mind but I am not sure of what to share. I am very troubled lately. There are a number of things on my mind which occupy my dreams and keep me from sleeping well. I know the best thing to do is to thank God for each and every worry and trouble. When we thank God, even in misery, we are acknowledging that the solution for these problems are out of our control. By Thanking God and letting go of any action on our part, we leave the resolution to a higher Being with much broader vision and resources to effect the problems.
I, with my finite and limited thoughts and wisdom, only guess at solutions I might like to see but cannot grasp the repercussions these actions might cause.
Let me try to give an example of what I am trying to articulate.
A neighbor is a hoarder and keeps a number of cats. The number is currently unknown but it is most likely closer to 10 than 5. The neighbor is ill but keeps up the exterior of her home. She pays a gardener once a month to care for grass and flowers and she goes out every day when weather permits with her large white cat whom she calls snowball Bent over lady and cat patrol the grounds and lady picks up twigs and leaves and plastic bags and cans thrown from the road while cat explores, sniffs the bushes and flowers and rolls in the grass. Lady and cat have an empathy and rhythm which is a joy to behold. Cat likes to sneak under bushes and parked cars to hide and lady chases calling until cat meanders out to wind around her legs and rub against her. Now we know the lady has some serious health issues which need to be addressed and she does go to Dr's and takes their advice. She is bent over and skinny with her clothes falling off her. She mostly smells but does get cleaned up to go to Church every week and to her Dr visits. She eats poorly, mostly frozen food from the Schwaan man that she nukes. She keeps in touch by phone with her brother back East and her niece and nephews and she worries about them constantly. She sends money to her niece and is very generous with the Church.
All in all the lady in question lives her life close to her cats, nature and God, with a few of us neighbors, thrown in for good measure. The problem is, and the lady recognizes it, is what to do when she can no longer care for herself. Her main worry is her beloved cats and what will happen to them if she becomes too ill or dies. She says she will drag herself into the driveway as she is dying and if we see her there: please go and take care of the cats. She would surrender them to a no kill shelter but doesn't know of one which would take the cats. Most of them came as kittens and only know the inside of the house.
So here is the quandary. What to do? Should I call the city health services to help the lady and damn her wishes and her kitties? Should I try to locate a no kill shelter to take the cats? (at the last minute she might not give them up anyway),
A friend goes to her Church with her on occasion. Should the friend talk privately with the minister to see if he wants to get involved? Should we try to get her cell phone and call her brother, and try to get him involved?
So at this point I do nothing. I thank God for letting me see the problem and tell him I will spring into action if he shows me the way, but I mind my own business. I am happy that I can love and care enough to want to get involved, but really fear that the consequences of any action I would take without God's direction, and the lady's permission could be a disaster.
The lady could be put in a home with her money and independence taken away from her, the cats could be rounded up and put to sleep, and poor snowball (the alpha kitty) would be devastated without his friend. The brother could come and take over and not listen to her wishes and she could die any way with grief and humiliation(they were estranged for 19 years after her parents died, over property and money) It is only the past few years they have been in touch.
God's vision is so much better than mine that I must leave the action to him and accept the result. It is not in my authority to intervene unasked in another independent person's life. But it is so hard to surrender my actions