Being Human or Human....Being?????

I have been giving a lot of thought to my writing lately and what I am really called to write about.  I keep going down new roads trying to find what suits me and satisfies me most.  I feel as a political commentator I suck.  There are so many writers that I respect who are so much better and more well informed than I.  I try to give my informed opinion but so what?  Everyone has an opinion and I do not think I will change any minds anytime soon.  When I write about God, or Being I am on much more solid ground.  My degree in Philosophy, my study of comparative religions, my study of Christianity and Hinduism, and my own insights about what I write; ( which I truly believe are not just my own), have given me a lot more confidence in what I write.
Of course my own experiences and those of people I know do provide a rich ground for writing. When I was a kid I was told to write about what You know.  Well, unfortunately for many many years I felt I just didn't know enough about anything.  Now I know a lot more but I am nearing the end of my life, not the beginning.  So what and who do you know, and when did you know it becomes a question which looms large on my horizon.
I was speaking to a friend this morning about consciousness.  Now I believe everything is conscious to a smaller or larger degree.  We all tend to equate consciousness to humans and perhaps to some extent animals, but when it comes to plants it really gets iffy for most people.  I, on the other hand, believe even a rock or other supposedly dead, inanimate object is conscious.
Matter is made up of atoms, protons, neutrons , electrons, particles, waves, quarks, you name it it may have it.  So why not consciousness? Now, I do not have a degree in physics but it has been a life long interest of mine.  If the very act of observing a thing changes it's behavior, then to my untrained mind it displays consciousness.  The directional moves may be predetermined by the laws of physics, so what else is new. When I unconsciously move one of my feet, a part of my being which is conscious has caused the move.  Consciousness and unconsciousness are relative terms.
In my conversation with my friend this morning we were talking about universal mental consciousness. Because radio waves were  recently discovered in the broad scope of history, doesn't mean they did not exist before we found them.  The same with waves of consciousness. Because we cannot perceive these waves with our senses does not mean they do not exist.  I mentioned that when a product or idea is found it one country it is often found at about the same time in another country or part of the world. Ideas cannot belong to one individual even though we do try to patent them.  Ideas exist in the realm of consciousness, or as Plato would have said as a form.  There is nothing new under the sun; it is only left to us to discover it.
Therefore, and thusly and indubitably, I maintain we are humans being rather than human beings. The internal consciousness or soul, or being, as I like to refer to it, is moving and forming us as humans, rather that we humans simply being conscious.
Then we have the Creator, the ultimate Being and Spirit, our little piece of the Whole.  The One and it's Attributes, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.  Somewhere along the way is the Sacred fertile Goddess. the Holy Mother, Mother Earth.  Where is this all leading?  Follow along with me and perhaps we will enlighten you.

Civil War

What does civil war mean?

Civil | Definition of Civil by Merriam-Webster

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/civil

1. Cached

1 : of or relating to citizens <civil rights> 2 : of or relating to matters within a country. 3 : of or relating to the regular business of citizens or government that is not connected to the military or a religion. 4 : polite without being friendly <Those men, they used to be best friends.

While trying to sleep this morning (4:00), the phrase Civil War, the war of brother against brother, neighbor against neighbor against neighbor, kept hazily moving through my brain.  The war of all against all; no friends, no enemies.  Why, and what does it all mean?  In our biblical folklore it began with Cain slewing Able.    Later we have the patriarch Abraham and his two sons Ishmael and Isaac, from whom many believe became the division between Jew and Muslim or Palestine and Israel.  Of course we are all familiar with the divisions between the same peoples.  African tribes selling other tribes into slavery.  Native American tribes at war with one another until they faced a common enemy in the new white settlers in the Americas. European boundaries shifting again and again throughout history.  The peoples of Asia fighting war against each other over and over.

It would appear the largest common denominator among men is their willingness to fight against their brothers, their tribes, and their peoples, spreading blood, carnage and war,  whether within or against families, or the world at large.   

I always found it strange that a family I know which has four children I have always seen the enmity they had against one another even as little children.  They always seemed to feel their mom and dad loved the other sibling better than they did  the one.  In the early days it was sister against sister and later brother against brother in this little family of four.  They presented a solid front against the world at large but seemed to really hate each other within the little family.  Christmas day used to be a nightmare as the children squabbled over who got the best presents and there were always tears and hurt feelings.  This enmity, by the way, has continued between the two girls to this day.  They are both born again ultra right conservatives, as are their husbands,  but they can hardly be in the same room together without fighting.  They say they all love each other but the emotions which separate them seem much stronger than the similarities in their belief systems.

My own sister and I used to have battles and hurt feelings but I used to think it was because of the eight year separation in our ages rather than innate rancor.  We fought as children and later as young adults but seem to have come to a commonality in our belief systems in our later years and we really do love each other.

I have tried and tried to reason out what circumstances can cause such difference in view among the same people or tribe but I am still at a loss.

I know it is not just culture because the difference in beliefs of far right Muslim, Christian, Jewish, Hindu and other religious groups comes down to restricting the freedom of the same things. Woman's rights, music, drugs, books, sexuality, you name it.   When it comes down to a difference of beliefs or opinion  they all act out in the same way.  The same is true for Liberals or Progressives.  Group think is the common ground for all parties. I really could go on and on as I have fought through these thoughts for many hours but the end of my conclusions is there cannot ever be any peace in this world.  It really is not about color, religion, culture, sex or anything else.  There is no reason to it among reasonable mankind.  Difference and righteousness are what it all seems to be about.  I know I am no different that anyone else in these groups.  I hate with the same intensity and seem to find almost nothing I can agree with on the other side.
Someday the lion and the lamb may indeed lie down together.  If animals are protected, have enough food and territory to live comfortably they do seem to become friends.  Mother cats nurse baby dogs and even mice, and chickens protect kittens under their wings.  There are so many animals videos out there of dogs and elephants and even lions and men and women who raised them, never losing their love and affection for each other.  I do not really understand animal behavior but I think I understand humans even less.
When a people who live in the USA with all the creature comforts one needs to survive continue to work totally against one another, I can only feel there is no hope for mankind.  There is enough wealth in this country to supply the highest standard of living for all of our people.  We would be required however to share the wealth which is alien to almost all of us.  Our differences separate us much more then our commonalities.   We all bleed when we are injured and require food, water and shelter to survive.  the actual differences between peoples are such superficial things as skin color, hair color, eye color, build and facial characteristics like noses, eye shape, lips etc.  Except where there is a physical problem we all have two of each arms, legs, feet and hands and two eyes and two ears.   I used to try and explain our differences by right and left brained people but science has proven me wrong here.
All humans react in the same ways to difference, inclusion and exclusion and  conservative or liberal mindsets.  The extremes of these commonly held views may be labeled tea party, libertarian, progressive or even as Whigs and Tories but they all break down to the same hatreds and misunderstandings no matter how we label them.  Human kind will not ever come together and all we can ever hope for is relative peace among our peoples.
So what can we do with this dismal situation?  I really believe prayer is important for each individual to come to grips with his or her own nature: and that peace can only be held by an individual who is willing to give himself up for the needs of others.  Our heroic models for peace all shared one thing in common, they were willing to lay aside their own interests and sacrifice their lives for others.  The rest of us are left with our shitty little self interests flawed relationships until our Creator intervenes.   

I've been led.....

I have not posted recently but once again I feel led to say what is on my heart..  I was reading my Devotional "Jesus Calling" this morning for December 6.  What was said really hit me.  The Bible references the devotion was based on were Deuteronomy 6:5; Colossians 3:23; and Psalm 16:11.  To paraphrase both the author and the Bible passages: Man creates duties and rituals to give God money, time and work but neglects to give God what he really wants which is our hearts.  By performing ritualistic, mechanical and habitual actions, over and over,  they come to require no thought.  "the soul becomes comatose."
What God really wants and what he created us for is our presence with him and our joy in his creation.  God does not want or need money, sacrifice of lives, ritualistic prayer, robotic-ally performed duties for the church, the poor, the sick, or the hungry.  What he wants is for us to pray, love and give with joy and wonder.  He desires our hearts and  thankfulness for the blessings we have received; and the relationship we continue to develop with him.
How indeed can the creator of the universe be in need of anything.  He has it all.  Except he gave us free choice.  Each of us can choose to be in relationship with this Awesome Being whom we cannot approach physically, but only with our hearts and minds.
It is as if one has a child who offers his parent blind obedience and respect, in his presence;  but once out of sight, merrily pursues his own appetites and desires with no thought or concern for who he hurts or kills in the process. What Parent could hold such a child in esteem when he learns his child has cast his values and principles into the mud and then stomped on them.  What Parent could be proud when he learns his child has deliberately stolen, raped, maimed, brutalized, and destroyed the very home and persons, with whom and into which, the child was lovingly born and raised.
When we care more for our own interests then for the Parent who gave us life and raised us, then we trample on sacred ground.  We pay homage to the god of self and try to buy off the Creator of all that is and has been and will be.  We offer meaningless rituals, prayers and offerings, never touching and engaging with the Blessing of Creation.
Yes, I am a Creationist, but not in the common meaning.  The Creator of all the laws and principles which yields us insights into Being and science is the Creation I believe in.  The God of Love who holds all of his children in the center of his Being and infuses those who choose to listen with knowledge and joy, and his Eternal presence within.
So say I, PooBah, on this glorious and God filled day.

Thinking about Spirit

As I was on my computer, early this AM, I also said a morning prayer.  Not the first of the morning as I try to pray continuously.(impossible for me at all times, but at every time I think of it).
Anyway, I began to wonder when Mankind first began to worship the God within, The Holy Spirit, or just Spirit.
I thought of ancient man worshiping trees and rocks and animal spirits.  I thought of Greek and Roman Gods like Zeus, etc. I thought of the Jewish un-named God, Yahweh, I thought of the Muslim God Allah. I thought of Hindu Gods like Krishna; and  Buddha.
Most, if not all of these Gods were and are worshipped externally.  They are worshiped as mountains, statues, at Holy places like Mecca and Jerusalem, and countless other places around the world which are deemed to represent the dwelling place of God.  Temples, synagogues, churches.  Countless fields( Stonehenge), mountains, waters( like the Ganges), many, many Spirit filled places.
God has appeared to men and women, and even children, in dreams, visions and prophesies, altered states and told them many things, instructions, the future, etc. 
I wondered when however, the first of humankind began to worship the God within each one of us? How and when did the external become internal as well, or was it always so? 
This is not a learned discussion.  I have done no research, not do I intend to. Far better and more educated minds than mine have most likely thought about, written about and discussed this question.My thinking tells me that we acknowledged this Spirit within as God when Jesus said

And I will send to you my Spirit of Truth.

"But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come."

John 16:12-14

I welcome your comments and feedback.  PooBah

Being and Nothingness, a journey in understanding.

I'm not sure how to title this yet as I don't know what it is about.  I sit here as the sound and the muse enter my consciousness.  It is an altered state as I am here but not here.  Everywhere I hear other sounds like the keys clicking and the heater motor whirring but the sound in my head overrides all else.  I experience dry mouth so go for more coffee all the while my sound is with me.  I know what most of you must think.  Tinnitus. Srini experienced tinnitus several years back and it was found he had a blockage in his inner ear channel. It almost drove him crazy until he went to physical therapy and in one session it was gone.  I would be very unhappy if my sound disappeared. It grounds me in everything I do.   Dizzy Gillespie said once that on drugs he could hear the space between the notes.  That is what this is like.  The sound beneath all sounds.  The continuous ground which lies beneath everything.
Being is that ground.  I AM that I AM.  Nothing can exist without the ground or Being, but everything exists within it.  Contrast every thing with no thing.  All things come into and then pass from existence.  No thing can nor can not exist because it is NO THING.  Existence presupposes thingness. Non existence is just a metaphor involving that which cannot be imagined. One cannot imagine nothingness.  Space/time/universe, existence is always filled with some thing.  That thing can perhaps be imagined as a vacuum or a void or a blank space or antimatter.  Each of these participates in thingness. Not, no thing ness. Nothing can be conceived as outside the whole of existence.  We can talk in the abstract about WHAT IS NOT. If we try to deny existence in any form we are left with SOME THING beyond infinity or eternity but we always hold in our imagination some thing, that is the WHAT.  So we are left with what is and what is not. Notness trys to deny existence, but since it is not, it can not.
This is all so clear to me and my muse but I am aware that is can be confusing or even absurd to my audience.  All I can say is Everything IS, and Nothing is Not.  There is nothing outside the Whole or Being, or God.  All things are contained within the Whole and it is inconceivable that they are Not. How do I know this.  The only way one knows is to know.  Many people believe that they know but when you really know there is an internal realization that yes, this is not a belief or something some wise man said.  It is knowledge itself , recognized.
I owe my tortured journey to three individuals,  Plato, Spinoza and Harvey Burstein, (teacher of philosophy at Queens college.  I owe my understanding to my ground of my being who let me know.

What is most important, right now?

Hello again my friends, it is time for a little game.  If you could change just one habit or behavior you have held for more than 5 years, what would it be.  For me it used to be smoking.  I smoked for 50 years before, through God's grace, I was finally able to stop.
I, however, cannot ever leave well enough alone so I have to try and change something else.  Of all my striving towards perfection what key behavior still bothers me most?  It is hard to decide because my faults range from the physical, to the mental, to the spiritual and each category needs a lot of work.
First, the physical or health:      I need to lose at least 20 lbs.
                                                   I need to get more exercise.
These two behaviors are important because with COPD you cannot cure the disease, it is progressive. What  you can do is influence the body's ability to take in and more efficiently utilize oxygen.          

Secondly, mental or discipline:  I tend to put things off and wait until either time or circumstance 
                                                    force me to act.
                                                    I have to organize my paperwork better for my husband and heirs.
                                                    I have to dispose of my excess possessions before they create a 
                                                    problem for the previously mentioned.

Thirdly, Spiritual or Soul:           I want to be kinder to others in my thoughts and erase
                                                     negative feelings I hold; to eliminate hate from my heart.
                                                    I want to better understand and more completely follow
                                                    the teachings of Jesus, as they have come down to us.      

So given all of the above what should I  focus on first. In order of priority I believe the last should be first.  Love and kindness and understanding should always be at the forefront of all our activities.
Love your God with all your heart and your neighbor as yourself, to paraphrase.
A part of loving one's neighbor is taking care of their interests before one's passing. So I believe I should focus on the second, second.  Lastly, I should focus on number one. In more ways than One.
Ideally I can do all things in God.  With sacred help and guidance I can make progress in several direction as long as I keep my priorities straight, and do not get sucked in to superfluous activities which benefit no one.   

So my fellow players, what life changing activities would you like to focus on.  Life either is or is not a game.  If it is, one needs to move one's pieces in such a way as to win.  If it is not, then it is all the more important to get straight with what is most important and create one's own destiny.  One's character is one's destiny.  Is it not?  "To be or not to be, that is the question......"
I apologize for the previous paragraph.  I could not help myself.  :)

Right Now I Am O.K.

It has been a while but I have been very busy doing my usual daily little dumb things. I read "Super Brain" and I really enjoyed it.  The main thing I really got; I had once before, but forgot it.(it is an interesting thought, got/forgot)  It is a very important concept that I forgot..  It is that Right Now I am O.K.  This means all the normal or abnormal things I worry about are in the future: and the stuff I fret about or feel inadequate about  or which makes me sad, are all in the past.    Right now, this very minute I am O.K.
I don't seem to realize or maybe I just don't get that I make my own heavens or hells or purgatories.  When I leave the current moment is when all of the problems begin.  It is however very hard to stay in the current moment.  Our hopes and fears keep coming up and we keep slipping backward or forward in time.  If time is a man made concept and everything only happens as it happens, not before or after, then it is easier to stay focused in the now. 
It is interesting to read stories about people with amnesia who apparently forget who they are, and remember nothing from the past.  It seems to be sort of like Alzheimer's only the self is lost all at once and can come back.  All of these people should have it easy living in the moment but it seems the moment is really unavailable to them too.  They appear to be worried about their confused little moment.  There appears to be only confusion or angst, in their moments. The moment is wasted in worrying about what they should but do not remember or what they are missing by being unable to imagine a future.
They seem to live in the lost land of existing /not existing, never ever land.
Meditation promises to take us into the moment but I have never succeeded in losing my mind.  Instead I lament and wonder why I cannot escape my thoughts, If you are worried about it you are not meditating.  You are supposed to gently draw yourself back to your mantra, instead I jerk myself around and try to force myself back.  I would much rather be consciously aware of what is happening now in the current moment.  The sounds I hear, the colors I see, the softness of my pet's fur that I feel.  Even the pain.  I try to go into the pain rather than escape it, remembering right now I am O.K. and if I can get out of my thoughts and fears and just tune into my senses I can continue on and live in the moment. 
Too often there are the moments of beauty and peace and Godliness and then we are jerked back to our hates and fears and belief systems.  How can we come from meditation, church, a symphony, and experience of beauty, God, or realization, and be the same old stinky, corrupt and unforgiving persons we were before?  The over the top experiences do not seem to change us.
This is why Priests and Pastors are forgiven for their transgressions and redemption is possible.  It appears to be part of the human condition.  As humans we visit the heights and descend to the depths
and carry only vague impressions of each state to the other.  Whatever the conditions of either state.  If I can only stay in the now I am O.K.

A most Curious Situation

Have you ever been curious about things?  I have always felt like a cat who is curious about everything.  I have been told that curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought her back.  I am not sure if I will be brought back and I doubt I have nine lives but I have always been inordinately curious.  I want to know everything.  About everyone and everything.  On a lazy day in India I once spent 3 hours following an ant to see where he lived.  He eventually went into a hole by a Jasmin plant after a very slow and circuitous route.  As you can see I have a life well spent.
My curiosity can encompass many different things but mostly I am interested in people.  What has happened in their life?  How were they raised? What did they feel?  How do they feel/think?  What are their likes and dislikes.  Why, Why, Why. I can listen to someone talk for hours about themselves.  Their past, their hopes, dreams, ambitions, marriage, singularity.  My favorite types of books are, Duh, autobiographies, biographies and novels.  Really, are there any other kinds of books?  Oops, I forgot mysteries, I love them too.   I do not like historical novels, science fiction or politics or history or romance novels.  I will occasionally experiment with one of these but for the most part unless they are recommended, I ignore them.  I do also like stories involving animals.  True stories only.  My Black Beauty, Bambi days are over, I am such a sap I always cry.
I am on the whole very unobservant.  I do not notice what people look like, what they wear, what color eyes they have or other obvious visual signs.  I am more interested in what they are like on the inside, and I do make a snap judgment based on what I instinctively feel.  I am very interested in how people treat me.  Do they look me in the eye?  Do they have a solid handshake?  Do they really see me or are they too much in their own heads? Are they looking around or over my head for someone more interesting to talk to?   I am also very concerned with how they treat or talk about others.   Are they nice to animals? 
I could care less if someone is bald, limps, or has a physical handicap.  Mostly I really do not even notice.  But if you have an air of mystery about you or an unresolved conflict I cannot wait to find out more about you.   

Feynman and a few other thoughts.

I have to mention how I loooooooove Richard Phillips Feynman.  He is the best and most lucid physicist I have never understood.  You may not realize that philosophy and metaphysics are tightly tied to physics.  In my long lost youth I studied physics reasoning's in my philosophy classes under Harvey, and later pursued articles and books written by physicist's like Steven Hawkins and Feynman as well as articles in magazines which updated for the layman the latest thoughts in string theory, M-theory, Big Bang, parallel universes, and higgs bosen.
In seventh grade when we were introduced to nuclear physics and I learned about atoms, neutrons and electrons I decided I had never heard anything so fascinating and decided I wanted to be a nuclear physicist.  As soon as I learned one had to become proficient in math I promptly changed my career direction to horse trainer.
All in all I have had a love affair or should I say a one night stand, with physics, and realize I must get Feynman's books out of the library, I'm talking his easy books, and reread them.

musings from 2001

2001- CHAOS BY James Gleick-p.251

“On a philosophical level, it struck me as an operational way to define free will, in a way that allowed you to reconcile free will with determinism.  The system is determinestic but you can’t say what it is going to do next.”

2001-Why do we have to assume that the more complex came from the simple?, as in Big Bang, hydrogen atom to complex diverse universe.

If we assume eternity and no real time space then we could postulate cause was the most complex, infinite complete model.  We could then work back logically to the smallest simple component, i.e... Hydrogen atom, whatever, and that doesn’t mean it caused the final complete effect.  We have just identified it to a finite item.  Perhaps the most complex could be the most simple.  Because we see growth and development in time we assume it holds true for infinite reality.